If “Bake Off” or “Strictly” had that as a theme week it would certainly add a bit of spice to the shows 🤣
For those of you new to my ramblings, Fran and I adopted our two children 9 years ago. It was something we had discussed during our fertility journey and obviously the method that gave us our kids.
And they are our kids, one of the questions I had at the beginning was if I’d feel differently about them if they were biologically ours.
I can’t remember anything other than fear of messing it up during the first months / year; by that point I can’t imagine feeling any differently about them than love.
All parenting has its challenges and adoption coupled with additional needs adds a little more on top. We find ways to keep working together and moving forwards.
Last week, we had a holiday in Cornwall and stayed a stone’s throw from Fistral Beach. It was amazing and full of adventure.
When the kids first moved in, they were both petrified of water due to an incident in their early life. K remembered it and we coach her through it relatively quickly (2-3 years). It was pre-cognitive memory for A, therefore it was a more primal fear that he couldn’t understand, it took nearly 7 years for him to get his face in water and since then he’s been pushing his limits.
Last week, watching them both diving through waves and having a surf lesson made me really emotional. They are literally changing their stories and who they are on a daily basis.
If they can, we all can. Yet so many of us get caught up in our past stories and events. Not doing something because we are worried what others will think or not being very good.
The truth is, very few people really pay attention to anybody else so you may as well crack on and do the thing you want to try. If you’re not very good, that doesn’t matter, who is on their first try.
If adoption is a thing that you have ever considered and you want to have an informal chat, we’re here for you.
Darren “Dad” Checkley
