It would have been my Dad’s birthday today, he died from Prostate Cancer 10 years ago.
As a result, I’ve grown a moustache every year in November as part of the Movember campaign. I’m nearly ready to have a shave and start to shape what mine will look like this year. 5 days in and I’ve nearly got some noticeable stubble.
When he died, I had lots of people telling me to be strong.
Strong for my Mum, strong for my family, strong for myself. A friend’s Dad died recently and people told him the same.
The problem was I’d never had a Dad die before, I didn’t know how to be strong in that situation.
It meant I covered up my emotions, I thought I was doing ok. We had a good relationship, he had been ill for a long time, he was ready to die.
It got to the funeral and I had a break down reading his eulogy, something I thought I was going to rock. “I’m good at being in front of people” was the “strong” story I was telling myself.
We keep reading that mental health is important, yet we can feel uncomfortable to share our emotions, to be vulnerable to tell people that you care for / love them.
I’m lucky, I have some really close relationships with people I can be vulnerable with. To an extent, I share those feelings on these musings.
You don’t have to be strong, if being strong is harming you. Find somebody you can talk with, a friend or family member you trust, a coach – my life changed when I started working with a coach, my coaching clients say the same.
Talking needs to lead to change and change comes from taking action, be accountable for your actions.
Today and yesterday, we worked on physical strength in the daily challenge. Tomorrow, I want you to work on being strong enough to be vulnerable.
You don’t have to write blog post and share your world; just something really simple like calling a friend or family member and telling them that you love or appreciate them, that you’re there for them and mean it.
It’s scary and you might feel silly or be rejected, that’s on them not you.
You’ll be ok.
Darren “brave enough to be weak” Checkley
P.S. The pictures are my Mum and Dad on their Wedding Day and Ours.
